Subhan'Allah ... where did the time go ... Another year has already passed just like that ... Ramadan is over ... Eid ul fitr gone too ... and now Shawwal fast is staring me right in the face ... Inshaa'Allah I can fast it well ... May Allah accept all our fasts and our intentions behind them ... Ameen ...

So yearly update?? ... lol ... guess it is that time ...

I have sad news and good news too

Unfortunately my son now is no longer living at home ... though I love him dear staying here with us was not working out (May Allah guide him to Islam in his own time ... Ameen) ... he has decided he wants to stay with his grandparents, and I guess at 13 he should be able to make that decision ... it certainly is a step up from him staying with his father, Alhamdulillah for small mercies given us by Allah ...

My three girls remain with me and my husband ... and inshaa'Allah always will ... My Dawah has started kindergarten in the islamic program (Sakinah Circle) and Alhamdulillah she loves it ... My oldest daughter is in grade 5 and is too old for the program as it only goes to grade 3 :( ... but as she still cannot fathom wearing hijab unless to the masjiid ... maybe it is for the better (May Allah guide her, to be a strong muslimah in her own time as well ... Ameen) ...

Still working on incorperating regular prayer with the kids ... that prayer jar didn't work out too well since my girls wanted to keep the money for themselves than donating it to the needy at the masjiid ... well live and learn ... am trying a new system now though that seems to be working a little better so far ... I realize establishing prayer is one of the most important pillars in Islam ... so please no lectures ...

Anyhow that is a quick update for now

Salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh to all my brothers and sisters in Islam

Alhamdulillah ... today is my 1 year anniversary of being a muslim ... so what has happened to me in the last year ... Subhan'Allah ... sooo much ... I have so many blessings masha'Allah that it would be impossible to count them all!!!
I am not even sure where to begin ...

Since I reverted I have learned soo much ... I learned how to pray ... I learned the words to my prayers in Arabic(alhamdulillah)and some of the short surats ... I have begun to learn the Arabic alphabet and to read some words ... I have read countless hadeeths ... and I learned how to put on a hijab ... I learned to accept the stares I get from old aquaintances and strangers when they see a white woman in hijab ... I learned how to answer questions about Islam and the rights of women in Islam ... I have begun to learn how to talk about Islam to my children and to my friends ... I have learned to recognize which people are true to their Islam and which are trying to take advantage of a good hearted woman and try to gain visas. Subhan'Allah ... May everyday I continue to grow in my knowledge and eman ... Ameen

Since my new birth so many things have happened ... subhan'Allah ... I managed to find the strength to break off my old relationship ... I have started dressing as Islamically as I can ... I found a wonderful new husband ... my 2 older daughters have said shahada ... and I have begun to spread the good word of Islam to friends and neighbors of mine ... and even my father has taken an interest in Islam alhamdulillah ... Inshaa Allah everyone I meet and know can learn about the true Islam ... what Islam really teaches ...

Today I decided to start something new with my family ... we made a prayer jar ... so every time my girls pray with me ... we put a dime for each child in the jar ... in shaa Allah my son will hop on board too ... I thought since they already get pretty much everything they want they will be praying for charity ... subhanallah they love the idea ... when the jar is full ... we will donate the money to the masjiid or to the charity of their choice ... I think this is a wonderful lesson about caring about others and also about getting them to want to start praying regularly in shaa Allah

Anyhow I am still on the road of learning one year later ... and inshaa Allah I will continue to learn ...

Where to Begin

I am not quite sure how to continue with this blog .... I thought that by posting my story of how I reverted to Islam would be a good way to break the ice so that people could understand who I am and where I am coming from. Funny how it works ... only one post in and someone has already flagged my blog as spam. Am I that dangerous? In shaa Allah people will read my story and become inspired to learn more about Islam ... As I am learning my way through blogging and through Islam I intend to write of my personal experiences, share helpful links, and try to make use and sense of the wonderful technology and tools to help me along this journey!

It is not my purpose to force Islam on any-one ... my only intention is inshaa Allah to educate those who do not know ... and those who have the wrong ideas of what Islam is. This blog is for the non muslims, and muslims alike, for those who wish to learn and to dispell many myths about Islam.

In this great day and age of computers and technology it gives me great pleasure to know that whatever I want to learn is right at my fingertips ... the wealth of information is phenomenal ... the problem is there is going to be alot of garbage along with the valuable information ... It is each persons responsibiliy as we sit here, to sift the data ... to discard what we know is trash and to try and gain the valuable information that we are seeking...

It is wise to be cautious as you go along the internet highway and to choose carefully what you read as fact, fiction, or personal opinion. There are many people out there, who make it their personal goal to do Shaitans work for him and wish to mislead the unwary. And there are those who inshaa Allah intend to do what is right by Allah and strive to put their best efforts to give the truth, and their every action is only to please the creator. May Allah make me of the latter and guide my fingers to type only the truth may he help my every action to be just and on the straight of way!! Ameen.

I have been getting asked a fair bit about my conversion/reversion story and so here goes...

For those of you who don't already know, I was Wiccan (a practitionner of magic and worshipper of the goddess; also known as a white witch) before I found Islam and reverted ...

It happened in a matter of stages really ...

For near thirty years I did not even know the words Muslim or Islam

Then I met an online friend who was muslim ... actually a few online muslim friends ... and I couldn't fathom why on earth anyone so intelligent would prostrate before Allah (SWT) I thought for sure they must be brainwashed to think like they did and I started out wanting to prove to them that they need to learn to think for themselves. Not only did I realize that they were not brainwashed but this started my journey to Islam!!!

My first muslim friend sent me a terrible link to give a non believer as a first introduction to Islam .. It seemed quite violent and was promoting Jihad and telling people if you were not Muslim you were nothing more than fuel for the fire. Then my friend told me that if I tried to learn about Islam that surely I would become a Muslim ... My first response of course as a free thinker was YEAH RIGHT NOT IN A MILLION YEARS ... but I told them because I wanted to better understand why they thought like they did and I would do some more research about Islam . For me it is a more respectable thing to do than to just immediately diss someone for their religion.

So I began my journey in doubt as I am sure many reverts do by reading about the Miracles in Islam and the Miracles in the Quran and somehow ended up on a forum that discusses how the moon had split in two. What I found amazing that the moon really does have a divide down the center of it Subhana'allah (proven by science). And without telescopes or the technology to take photos of the moon none the less the ability to land on the moon ... how could the people know 1400 years ago that it really was divided in two unless God himself revealed it?? It was an incredibly interesting forum and a knowledgeable muslim kept respectfully defending Islam and stuck to how Islam was a religion of peace and submission to one God. He had left some very good links (ie Islam Way) and some quranic sites so I followed the links! I sent away for my own english version of the Quran and started reading between internet and books that were sent to me with the Quran.

I started off trying to refute Islam only to get drawn in and it got to the point where I didn't wan't to stop learning alhamdulillah!!! I learned first of the miracles revealed by the Quran. For example the different stages of pregnancy first the revelation that the beginning stage is in the appearance of a clot ... then chewed substance ... then looking like a little human being .... How could they know this without the use of ultrasound?? ... And then the miracle of the Quran itself ... how did an illiterate man come up with all the verses in the Quran on his own, unless God sent him an angel to give him the words, to bring people the knowledge of the best way to live, and how is it that millions have the whole Quran memorized ... who other than God could make it possible ??... subhana'Allah!!

As I began to read I began to be more aware of things happening around me ... I started to be even more disgusted by the scantily dressed girls around me ... I lost my taste for pork and alcohol ... and I no longer enjoyed or wanted to perform magic ... I began to feel like that whatever I was was missing in my life was beginning to get fulfilled, and I started wanting to be a better person subhanah Allah, and most of all I discovered that I already had most of the beliefs and character traits of a muslim.

I believed already that family is of the utmost importance. I believed in helping other people less fortunate than myself. I believed women and men should be properly covered (I could not stand seeing nakedness on the young girls here) I believed in taking care of animals and the environment. I believed in doing good for the sake of good! I couldn't ever be brought to do harm on another human being or animal. I believed we are all accountable for our own actions. I believed that what was provided on the earth needed to be properly appreciated and that we needed to give our thanks for all that we have. I believed that all things are in perfect balance and that nothing happens without a reason. All these and other beliefs I discovered were paralell to Islam teachings. Alhamdulillah I was pretty near a Muslim all along and didn't even know it.

When I started to read the Quran (in English of Course) a peace began to fall over me ... a calmness that I didn't know before... It was like I had entered a new and different magical world. Then one day I was listening to a surat #9 in Arabic and I began to cry ... I had no idea what I was listening to but I went back to read the translation to see what it was that could possibly move me to tears and it was the surah of Repentance ... so I cried again when I knew what it was my heart was knowing before my brain did.

Though at this point I wasn't quite pushed far enough to take the plunge into the abyss of Islam, and say the shahada :) I still needed more proof!!

I had been regularly getting extremely terrifying dreams. The magic I had practiced over the years had been growing stronger; that seemed to attract some evil forces that wanted to steal it from me. I would clutch my pentacle for protection and the evil forces would be stayed for a short time, I would build protection walls and make spells for protection and that helped a little. But it seemed that the evil continued to come back and regularly tried to rape of my magic and my soul regardless of my efforts at protection (yes I know how crazy this sounds). It got to the point I was scared to sleep at night because I might not be able to fend off another attack and keep my sanity and stay strong against the evil, Astaghferullah.

Then one day I did a very simple thing. I took of my pentacle with intention of allowing or begging Allah (SWT) to keep me safe from harm. And in so doing I made a private contract with Allah. I was no longer Wiccan and I was demanding in return Allah's protection of my soul. Honestly I have not had another terrifying nightmare since, and I finally felt safe to sleep and safe to go about my day!! Alhamdulillah!!!!

Shortly after that ... I had a muslim friend extend their hand to me and tell me that the Islamic community would be delighted and honored to have me as a sister among them .... and I had a tingling sensation go all over my whole body. I was so supercharged that evening, and I knew that the time had come to make the official leap of faith ....

After that I took the first opportunity I had to make it to the local Masjid to say my shahada, while a friend of mine watched my children for me. That too was a journey for me ... I went under the pretext that I was going shopping. I showed up at the masjiid only to be told the imam wasn't there and that I would need to come back in half an hour to an hour ... so I left feeling mighty dejected and I came back at the appointed time to say the shahada. (it turned out to be a very long shopping trip because I really did need to do some shopping after. lol)

The imam wanted me to go home for the weekend think things over and return on monday ... I said nooooo it was so hard just to get there that day, I had decided I was going to be Muslim and so be it. Besides there is no guarantee that tomorrow or any other day is even going to come. Any way the imam took me in and I said the shahada on November 9 2007.

ALHAMDULILLAH ... I almost felt guilty for making him late for whatever function he needed to attend (which is why he wanted me to come back another day) but I just couldn't leave the masjiid as a non-muslim.

Any magic I was able to do in the past I no longer have an urge to do. Allah's magic is so powerful that anything I could do would be nothing and swallowed up by the greatness of Allah (SWT). No evil can touch me now, and I am more whole than I have ever been. Alhamdulillah!!!! Subhana'Allah!!!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!